Letting go of love is strange. I don't think it ever happens how you expect it to; the marching band never arrives, there’s no bursts of light as fireworks break across the sky; instead, the world carries on as normal whilst you feel like you’re unravelling completely. I want you to know that I’ll never let go of you. I’ll keep you safely placed within the watercolour keepsake tucked away inside my rib cage. The one I playback like an old-fashioned film strip when my heart is aching, it’s 3am, and the world feels a little too heavy to bare the weight of. I’ve said sorry to you a thousand times in flashbacks, in moments I wish we could take back and rewrite but, love, the past is something we can never change, we can only rewire our perspective of it. So this is me, saying sorry, and finally beginning to forgive myself on your behalf. Because I’ve realised that sometimes, the only person we’re seeking the forgiveness of, is our own hearts. So, I’m sorry I could no longer love you; I’m sorry that my heart began to hold itself in way that meant pieces felt like they didn’t fit anymore - and for all the hurt we caused each other in the wreckage of trying to piece everything back together. I still think about our life, the apartment with no curtains, stumbling up the staircase with whiskey on our breaths and collapsing into an ocean of us, waking in the morning wrapped within each other, feeling like this would be everything forever, the naivety of thinking love will always be here, no matter how much we grow. But people grow, love. They grow, and, sometimes as they do the path they walked together begins to unravel down the middle until trying to hold onto each other by the fingertips across a void too deep to fill becomes all there is. And we deserve a love so much deeper than that, darling - the type of love we once found in each other, that we will eventually find in the pauses between someone else’s breath. So this is me, wishing I could stay, but leaving, and though I still look over my shoulder every now and then to see if you’re following, I know we’ll find our way forward... and we’ll learn to breathe again. We will - I promise.