So. ?
Today marks my journey of 28 years around the sun. I’ve been asked what I’ve learned up until now, what I want for 28, what my favorite year so far has been and so on...but today my friend Lauren @laurenllacera , told me something that has already stuck with me. She told me that no matter how many years pass, that she will always feel like her 28 year old self internally. ?
She said that by the age of 28, she had really gotten to know “Lauren.” I explained with full honesty that I’ve never been or have felt healthier in my life. 28 feels good so far. And now as I sit in my car after a sweaty class, all I want to do is share my truth as I’ve always done
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I went through most of my life obsessed with how others perceive me, which led to a trend of people pleasing to the point of leaving my needs/wants in the sand. I wasn’t worth it. I wasn’t worth anything...I had let people use and abuse me ever since I hit puberty, If not before. I thought that I’d probably be dead by 27, so why would I make any effort in getting to know Brittany? I didn’t want to get to know her nor was she worth getting to know. I even wrote a letter explaining how I just wanted to shrivel up and descend into the soil without leaving a trace of my existence. Then something happened. I decided that I was sick of making myself sick. I dedicated myself to yoga. I made friends and found a partner who all still push me to be me: silly, messy, moody, easily distracted, talkative me. And for some reason, they haven’t left yet. I’ve been “clean” for the longest I’ve ever been regarding my relationship with food, which feels incredible and I know that it’s due to teaching yoga. I preach self-love in every single class that I teach because I know that we are all on a healing journey- different journeys, but scars are scars. If I preach self- love and don’t walk the walk, then I’m a hypocrite- and my message becomes a tainted one; you’ve all held my hand on this year around the sun- I hope you know how fiercely grateful I am for your friendship-For not giving up on me and I promise to always be an ally for you. I’m thankful to be ALIVE. 28 already feels like a good year.