Today I am grateful for:
My little bit of coffee the I get to drink.
The blue sky.
My little baba growing inside of me.
My twin sis is coming into town!
And for my yoga practice-
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Since I can’t practice much at all anymore physically, I’ve been delving into the other-sometimes forgotten limbs of yoga. I’ve been learning to cope with anxiety through the use of conscious breathing. I have been able to sit for longer periods of time in meditation, picturing my placenta rise so that the previa will improve. 🙏🏼 And actually after weeks of visualization I have learned that the I went from having complete placenta previa to partial! 🎉
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I have also been thinking about the word “asteya,” one of the limbs of yoga that translates to “non-stealing.” I have realized that I have been stealing so much joy from myself throughout my pregnancy by being so wrapped up in what could go wrong. I’ve had major anxiety attacks recently about the health of my baby & the possibility that I’ve been making people unhappy by letting them down when I have to take time off to rest instead of go out or teach. I’ve even been having anxiety about my memory and how foggy I’ve been recently. I mean, the list goes on and I’ve barely taken a moment to actually enjoy these past few months! It seems absurd, but with generalized anxiety disorder comes with the dread of “what could be” instead of “what is happening now that I could be enjoying?”
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I have been stealing joy. I have been stealing the present moment away from myself by worrying so much about tomorrow, a week from now...even months from now to the point where I don’t even know what day it is sometimes. And that is why I began this caption with a list of gratitude. I hope to keep the lists going as the pregnancy continues. I want to (scratch that.) I am Going to enjoy each and every moment of this journey. I am not going to worry so much about what others are throwing at me right now and I will continue to consciously choose happiness and live presently.
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We can get so caught up in the minor details of life- the blips. I’m ready to get caught up in the bigger picture, and my picture looks bright and colorful with lots of gratitude. 🙏🏼