365 days - a lot can happen in such a short time. A year ago, my sister was starting her first rounds of chemo for breast cancer. Three months later, we would find out we lost our baby. Things continued to happen - we had another miscarriage and lost another baby, and then my grandpa passed away. Our family has been through a lot the past 365 days. ⠀
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All that loss and fear of loss has plagued me in a way that I couldn’t even recognize. I had some routine tests come back for the baby this week, and I wasn’t completely happy with the results. Logical me knew that more than likely everything was okay. But, all that fear I pretended wasn’t there overcame me in a rush.⠀
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I didn’t realize how much fear I’ve let settle in my heart until my sister pointed it out to me. For the past several months, I’ve been questioning everything. — What if something happens to the baby? What if something happens to me and I don’t get to see my babies grow up? Am I ready for another store? What if it fails? What if it’s not successful? How will we make this work with two kids and Nathan in grad school, plus working full time, growing a business?⠀
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What if. What if. What if. ✋ ⠀
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Then, this week I received a call from my sister-in-law. A girl we had played softball with in high school had passed away. No indication, and they don’t know why. She was young, had her whole life ahead of her yet — and everything just hit me then.⠀
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This life we’ve been given, we never know when it will go away. I’ve realized I can’t plague my life by fear anymore. I can’t keep thinking “what if” because tomorrow may never be there. So, I promised myself to stop living in fear and instead DREAM BIG. ⠀
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I made a vow to stop living in fear. To not be fearful of making mistakes because of what may happen. To dream up every big dream I have and go for it. To love my kids and husband with everything I have in my soul. To be thankful for this life I’ve been given and lucky to live. I’m going for EVERYTHING because at the end of the day, you don’t how long you’ll have to experience that.⠀
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Who’s going to join me with this vow starting today? ❤️