domchesh | INSTAGRAM | FEB 05

UM KAY⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ If you had told 16 year old me that I would be posting pictures in my UNDERWEAR on the interweb for people to see, I would have collapsed from anxiety.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I was in denial for a long long time that there was a term for how I was talking to myself, treating myself for a period of time.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Body Dysmorphia.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Through my eyes, I looked nothing like what people said. There was nothing beautiful about me, or my body. I saw flaw after flaw, and felt like the relationship with my body was exclusively negative.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Sometimes I didn't eat for an entire day, sometimes I ate as much food as possible followed with a side of guilt. Sometimes I would think about forcing myself to throw up, and I would constantly assess for ways to look 'better'.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I was afraid to feel good about myself. I didn't really know HOW to feel good about myself.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ This week is Eating Disorder Awareness week, and while I may not have had that experience, I know MANY people who have.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I started writing todays blog post, and found myself writing a secret that I've never told anyone. But I think it asked to be heard, so I've kept it in there.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Today I can honestly say that I love myself, and the amazing vessel that houses my soul. Having a body is such a gift, and I definitely want to celebrate mine as much as I can.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ You are perfect, just as you are⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ D xo⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 👙; knixwear⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 📸; evajoellephoto⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #edawarenessweek #toronto #embodiedalchemy #empoweredliving #bodydysmorphia #embodiedalchemy #empoweredliving #PTSD #ABI #recovery #growth #movementasmedicine #vegan #plantbased #pilatestoronto #yogatoronto