This is long and will trail into the comments as I have a lot on my heart this morning so bear with me. 🙈Also, I feel so vulnerable posting things like this but I feel convicted to share and I’m hoping some of you find it helpful! 🤞🏻
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I have had to work through a couple of really tough situations this past week where I have had to completely strangle my own triggers, fears, frustrations and “need” to fix the problem or address it in some way. And instead, just become a very safe space for my children to express their thoughts, feelings, and remorseful actions to me. Each time I worked incredibly hard to wrangle my inner dialog and impulse to react upon habit, fear, or emotion to what my kids had done or what they were telling me. And to just LISTEN - warmly, attentively, and neutrally. Sometimes I am surprised at how hard I still have to work/how much work their is to still be done after the amount of years I’ve been working at self healing and respectful parenting. It’s not a quick or easy task and perhaps it will never be truly finished. It is a task that requires me to utilize and grow my full capacity of self control and to take ownership and responsibility for my words and actions instead of placing that burden on my children. It requires time and attention to detail; wading through deep and murky waters. But I can assure you, this task is a worth while one. This week I didn’t allow knee-jerk reactions to dominate me. My week was busy and hectic and that would have been a lot easier, no doubt. But instead, some things on my list got pushed to the wayside and I made extra time in my day to listen to my children - for as long as they needed me to. To take time with myself and reflect upon my thoughts, feelings, and possible resolutions to the situation at hand. And time with my husband collaborating and reflecting some more. Then more time with my children to counsel them and work toward a resolution together.