We all have the "over-controller" in us.
That part of us that wishes to hold on to ideas, experiences, people, places or things. It's part of our evolutionary conditioning to protect in this way, to feel like we have some sense of control.
However, the reason this doesn't serve us is because this life is ever changing. In fact, we notice it when we sit. We see how often our mind drifts to something else we are trying to control.
When we feel a lack of control, and we experience unease, this is really the gateway to awakening. To experience "true security" as Oliver Burkeman alludes to, we must sit with our unease and insecurity, and include it in a larger space of loving awareness.