Motherhood. Reflecting on a four-and-a-half-year journey, I thought back to the observations and lessons I’ve learned since giving birth and being initiated into motherhood. I have found myself more sensitive - to food, to herbs, to life, to stress, to pleasure, to rest, to happiness, to cruelty, to nature. I have to take more care; my edges are softer. But in some ways, I am more resilient and durable than ever. I don’t crumble. I can handle more. My capacity (for love, for thought, for compassion, for patience) is greater. I have wrestled with guilt (not home enough, not at work enough, not good enough, not patient enough, not loving enough, not present enough). I have navigated that with some help and have found greater acceptance and patience with myself. I have found myself lost in mothering, sometimes. I have found myself resisting motherhood, sometimes. I have found myself in the greatest joy and gratitude for motherhood, sometimes. I have leaned on my practices like never before. Yoga nidra for the days when I can barely move. Yoga asana and pilates to keep me strong and grounded. Meditation always for the quiet (I didn’t appreciate quiet until I become a mama.) The ocean for its generous medicine. Salty water like tears and amniotic fluid, a primal reminder of where we all come from. I take herbs like my life depends on it. Jing for my Kidneys. Ashwagandha AM and PM. Mushrooms all the time. I accept the grace of practitioners who can nourish and support me when I can’t do it for myself. I have learned more, opened more, because of the stories and the sharing other women have blessed me with. (continued in comments)