As mamas we feel incredibly connected to our babies and it can feel life shattering to lose a child in our womb.
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In our intense years of trying to start our family, we lost 5 babies in 5 years. We spent those years searching for answers and getting none. I spent them blaming myself for where things went wrong. The last baby we lost, I was 13 weeks pregnant and my body somehow forgot how to miscarry and refused to let go of her. I had to have surgery to extract our daughter and run tests to see if we could find out why she didn’t survive. To this day, it’s the most hurtful thing for me to remember. Who would she look like? What would she be like? It seems odd to have these intense feelings still, since in the following 4 years we had 4 healthy and amazing babies. But the loss and emptiness stays with you and the connection that feels torn from you lingers. I know that I hug my babes tighter and longer now than I would have before those losses. And I believe in my heart that I am braver, stronger & smarter as a mother from this intense journey to motherhood. ?? So on this day of national pregnancy & infant loss awareness I think of the many of us that have suffered in silence and all the mamas that have lost their babies without sharing their sadness and it just breaks my heart. If this is you, I’m sending you a sh*t ton of light and love and praying you are wrapped up in peace to help cope with the loss.
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And a BIG thank you to @tinytags for their love and support in making me this incredible gold bar necklace that I treasure wearing on days like this.
♥️ #pregnancylossawareness #infantlossawareness #gratitudeforthejourney #braverstrongersmarter #tinytags #storybehindthetag #miscarriageawareness #unexplainedinfertility