Anderson starts his transition into care tomorrow. I don’t go back until September, but I’m giving us both a month to get used to it. I’m sitting here excited for his little world to open a crack more. Mostly, I’m exceedingly grateful for a country like canada that afforded me an 18 month maternity leave. But what catches me the most off guard is that I’m also apprehensive. I’ve always been career minded. I’m ambitious. I love working - I still do. But it turns out that the 20 months I’ll have taken off with Anderson have fulfilled me in ways I never dreamed. My anxieties have relaxed. I’ve grown. Things have shifted. But I still didn’t anticipate this swill of emotions. But that’s motherhood. Nothing is ever black or white. And yet it’s so dang beautiful nonetheless.