The Port of Miami was packed today as thousands of leisure-goers braced themselves for tomorrow’s Vacation® Grand Opening Friends & Family Sale. Consumers boarded the S.S. Paradise to Vacation’s private island resort, fully prepared for our brand new line of “Leisure-Enhancing” products. Upon arrival, every customer immediately accessed their complimentary Macintosh Quadra 900, fully loaded with a generous 4 megabytes of dedicated RAM. Customers refreshed our webpage so frequently we had to relocate our data centers to the Coral Sea for optimal cooling. Now that we’re back online, please ready yourself for our Grand Opening Friends & Family Sale tomorrow. All honorary recruits can expect an SMS or email tomorrow with their access code.