A haunting maritime tale of being lost at sea. As some of you may know, our colleague and fearless Regional Sales leader, Ray, has been spearheading efforts towards international shipping. With the collective cries of customers around the globe yearning for a mere squeeze of that smooth, Classic Lotion.. plus a few outlandish bribes, Ray was determined to test the waters of leisure in a trial of commercial ships including big yachts and fishing boats. With their locations closely tracked to follow the movements of the precious cargo containers they carry, he monitored daily via South Beach-based stations and satellites - only to notice not 1 of the 180,000 vessels had made it to their destinations. And even more odd, their crew unresponsive.
This photo here was taken as evidence after tentative witnesses board one of the silent vessels found - but were aghast to find the ship deserted. The S.S. Dominador was well equipped with food prepared and awaiting the morning breakfast rush of sailors; the kettle was boiling on the stove and hot cinnamon rolls with orange zest and cream cheese frosting tragically oozing right off into the bottom of the pan, was said to be waiting on the table. Possessions and pool noodles left in their places… and most of the cargo still in the hold, thank Poseidon. It wasn’t until someone spotted a trail of Chardonnay Oil leading them like breadcrumbs to discover one of the longboats was absent…with that, a Vacation® white t-shirt was noted as being carelessly tossed aside with the scent of “Vacation” by Vacation® Eau de Toilette still lingering off of its shrink free, 100% cotton fibers…all suggesting the crew might have taken off in a frenzy towards land. Using the fragrant article of clothing, Coast Guard canines tracked the scent on various beaches of island paradises. And it was confirmed, the crew of 180,000 vessels sailed the ocean blue only to be caught up in the intoxicating scent of Vacation®...causing them to abandon ship and chart off course to shorelines searching for all the imaginable comfort in nearby, all-inclusive resorts while under the protection of Vacation® Brand SPF30.Can you blame them?(continued in the comments)